passed away yet forever loved

Law-ay gid man kung amo na matabo sa atun nu. But we could never

question it. The person above is much more greater than what we know,

what we live or why we live.


Po mas sakit gid man kung sa imo na pamilya matabo. Imo na migo.

Or dugay muna nakilala. Daw wala sang words or advice nga

makapamayo sang matyag mo. It feels like time stopped ticking. Law-ay

pagid matyag mo kung ga sapopo ka pa kag bantay hospital kag makita mo.

Sa mga namatyan kag lately sa Loss ni Hya kag Family nya a.

Very sad to hear sa passing nila a.

Kag kay nanay ko sang last august. NAY!!! BALON KO!!!!!

I know gusto nila nga mag do something better ta sa kabuhi ta kag mag

happy ta. REST IN PEACE a. See you when we get there!

REST IN PEACE!!!

for those i know who passed away because of sickness, i am happy knowing that they won't feel the pain anymore. and for the family man, the burden is taken off their shoulders...

kagabi...last day sang wake sang friend namon...i had a weird feeling kay ara kami sagwa, 4 kami, tapos guina sturyahanay kami parte sa death. mga experiences na mga nagkalamatay namon nga friends or family members or pano kung kami na mapatay, or sin o ang mgatawo ngadi namon gusto makita nga patay na...i thought nga na overcome ko na ang feeling of loss sang tatay ko, ng OK na i isturya mga natabo sa iya before xa na patay, pero while we were conversing daw batyagan ko man dyapon kag daw didto bala nag sink in ang reality nga damo nag lain nga wala na xa. daw subo...

...basi na serve na nila ila purpose diri..muna guin kwa sila... (maskin mag type diri daw kasubo!)

tay!...kitakits ah, tell jim morrison and jeff buckley i'll be there...ma inom kami..upda si hendrix kag tanan nga nagklamatay nga rock stars..ma pwesto ta sa tyangge ah...ehehe..

though i haven't seen a friend or any of my loved ones take their last breath or died, with me on their side, it is still painful to know that there are people who need to experience this. I'm not giving my self any assurance that i will never experience this kind of scenario (but i really wish i wouldn't) i know that it is really a traumatic experience for someone to see somebody important to him or her die. especially if everything happened abruptly - something that no one had ever expected. as we were talking the other night, i've realized that life is really pretty much unpredictable, nobody knows when people be gone for good. no warnings .. no traffic lights .. no horns that blow saying "hey! i'll die tomorrow!" things will indeed change with sudden deaths - especially from a family member. you will see that the things you usually do may now look pretty unusual. everything seems like a reminder of his/her presence. everything looks just like him or her sitting in a corner but was actually empty. every single thing even his/her paperweight is a painful reminder of losing him/her. i just wonder why we cannot see the signs before these people die; rather, we see it after we've lost them. well, this could probably one of the many reasons why i kiss my mom goodbye before leaving the house, i kiss her forehead goodnight before i finally close my eyes to sleep, i say "i love you" to the people whom i really care for whenever i can, 'cause i know not when either one of us will have his/her final goodbye.

i love you lolo.

I woke up this morning and did some thinking..

I remembered to take breakfast, and hotdogs came to my mind.

Hotdog. That was what my uncle used to served me during breakfast. It was special to me. It was not just hotdog. It was cut into shapes. hahaha. Biruin ninyo 'yun. He can make octopus, squid and worm shapes!! Tapos crispy pa 'yun. Hmmmm..

Naalala ko ko yung time na he did magic for me, to shut me up 'coz I'm such a brat. I whined and whined but my uncle came to this idea that he should show me some tricks. And he was good. I missed that.

I remembered when we were in Bulacan, and he was there. And he used to take me and my brother anywhere in town. He drove our motorcycle and we kinda like the fact that he was there while our father was somewhere, doing his own misery business. My uncle became a father figure to us. He was there. He was always there.

I remembered my bratty days, wherein I wanted to buy something and I ran to my tito coz I know he would not let me down.

He was multi-talented. He was a gardener, and I remembered him planting bonsai on our garden. And he did some landscape gardening on our front yard. And he was pretty good!!

He used to carry me, or my brother. We used to play together. He did my projects. He sometimes did the cooking, or the laundry. He served as our parent. He was still vibrant and strong then.

For years I haven't seen him. But when I came home to Antique after our arrival from Saudi Arabia, we found out that he was rushed to the hospital. And then I saw him. He was thin and he looked too old. He really looked too old for his age. He was weak, it seems that he wasn't the man who stood up for us. The one who put us together when our family was breaking down. He served as our Band-Aid, holding the wound until it heals. He was there, lying there. And he could not move much.

Knowing him, I know he would want to move around, check his fighting cocks and to do some work. He was an active person. And I missed that "old him".

I regretted what I did before, that I was too selfish, too proud, and too stubborn. I never thought it will be this hard, looking at him like that.

When he died, I cried my heart out. I missed him. I missed my second dad.

He will always be there. I know he is there. I know he's watching over me. I could feel him.

my lola on my moms side died last december. it was the first time I encountered a death of a first degree relative, as I used to have grandparents on both my moms and dads side. ever since she was diagnosed with cancer last june. we all knew she wont last very long. then at november of last year she was taken here in Iloilo to have an emergency operation done. when she got here in Iloilo, I asked her while she was in the car if how she was doing, she just said "teh amu ni pangga eh".

thats my lola. very brave. too brave perhaps. up to the day she died. none of us have seen her cry. literally none. I remember when she died. it was a day after we went back to iloilo to buy some stuff. I was staying at a hotel then with my cousins, hung-over from partying at the next room til 5. at about 7 my cousin woke me up and said my mom is at the lobby, lola died.

I used to always tease lola on how she was probably the one whose after lolo when they were young, as lolo was good looking while lola looks like lola hehe.. but now its lolo going after lola that we're very worried about. we all know my lolo loves my lola more than anything. which makes it easy for us to believe that he never cheated on my lola. that's til death do as part for ya.


I always remember how lola would never let people use her prized dishes, glasses, silverware.. etc, who have never gone out of the cupboard. what are we gonna use when have guests she said? well simple. styrofoam & plastic! thats what we served the 350+ guests with at her funeral. like what my uncle said at the burial. "well done nanay" "mission accomplished". bye lola, sorry I broke your platito.

christmas party namun sa amu nga adlaw nga masdya ang tanan klasmeyt maistra, janitor, tambay, principal, security guard kag kun sino pa da.
sadya gid man kami to ah kag ga hope sadya lang gid for the whole day. unfortunately may bad news nga nag abot. kag amo to ang nag pa tulala sa akon asta sa ulihi na bilin ko nga inoras antis sang bakasyon.

migo ko nga napatay tungod sa typhoid. one month nga ga balik balik hilanat nya kag smoke lang ang bulong nya. ga hipos lang sa pamilya. isa ka schoolmate nga ahead sa amun. tigas klase tawo ni sya. hambal gane namun, "yug meg anu ni man? masamang damo poh?" pero maski ano pa da nga rambolan kag inaway ang gina intrahan nya basta migo ya, migo gid na niya ya. wala ya gina pabay-an kag gina una ya gid. a couple of days late na ang balita sang nabal-an namun kag daw sa mga moto nga moment daw hindi gid man ko mag pati. maski asta subong.

tatay, your memory will always be remembered. pahuway kana da tay nardz.. mamiss ka guid namon

ednoi trompeta..klasmate ko sang college...

RIP...kitakits ah.

lola eke.. lolo uwa.. smooth2 lang da.. hulta lang da si erpat!! hekhek

here's another reason to October >>> visit your passed away loved ones.

amo gni ra ma uli ko sa culasi sa domingo... ma bisita so sa mga napatay ta nga pamilya ah...

Vansen kag Robot, ma uli kamo?